Its not Empty

e m P t Y

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

{/ --

Tuesday, June 10, 2008 ( 7:51 PM )

Band was seriously a lot WORSE than i thought its gona turn out to be. we sound like shit. we were like shit. Miss sia is not happy with us. she said we were at the peak, reaching gold in such a few steps and now we have problem getting bronze. whats wrong? i dunno. today was just awful, the ever first band prac without the yellows.

when i went to the band room today, clarinet section bench was WOW, spotless except for the letters nicely laid out. i thought what happened, someone swept our things away? someone throw all our stuff away?

then when i came to know the truth, i was just so touched that i cried. Cassandra cleaned the whole section herself. all the horrible 3 benches which is filled with spiders crawling away and the spiderweb hanging around. and she mentioned she saw a lot of silver fish( no idea how she ever find fish inside). i was really like VERY VERY VERY TOUCHED. during NOMS, i was looking for scores in one of those benches then i saw the humongous spiderweb, i didn't dare take my score. i decided to shut it and do without the score. and now there is this someone who went all the way out and helped us cleared all those spiderweb and creep crawlies, and helped us packed the whole section so that when we going to shift the holding site, we dont need to scream when we see the spider crawling on the score and push someone in to clear it. i just wana say you are really the best best senior i ever had, and thankyou for all your love.

then thinking about it, it brought back memories again.. last year when you called me and mountain back to clean the section. i went back with my nose all red and i couldnt stop sneezing and i was still saying next year i will be the supervisor instead and order you all to do the cleaning. i wished i could have a video that stores all these wonderful memories so i will never ever forget them and i can replay them and watch them every now and then..

how i wish we can always remain in the period of time when mama, ah boy and ah girl were having fun everyday. you buy me chocolate when i cried and i can write you long long letters when you are sad. reading your yellow letter today is seriously the very first letter that i cried so much over. and i realise your english is not bad! haha. if you write the letter with the motive to make us cry, you succeeded. you are terribly good at writing sad letters ):

but now that you are not gona be here anymore, i am going to learn to be independent. it just makes me feel very scared to know that there wont be anyone guiding me in songs anymore.. nobody to cover me up when i play wrongly.. i can no longer look up to you, but i can only look at all the juniors staring at me when i play wrongly or when i squeak.

this feeling is somewhat like last time when you were going to the bass clarinet and jayme is going to the alto clarinet. its so terrible. i need to force myself to work hard if not i will just be like any of the juniors standard. things are getting tough and scary. i just hope my lips wont give me any problem and i will work hard and try my best and persevere even if its get tough..
jiayou, 6points. you will do well!