Its not Empty

e m P t Y

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

{/ --

Saturday, May 19, 2007 ( 3:42 PM )

haven post for 15 days. thats more than 2 weeks! been going on no computer and tv 'diet'. i sacrificed all my time for project and tests. BUT, the results arent coming out as they should be. my PPR is dropping drop this term ): im highly unsatisfied. at the most cruical test period, some weird and emo and unmotivational thoughts came to my mind suddenly. and i stop studying for a while. my tests the following day all.. well you know wad..

i dun understand why we should study. why must i study when im not going to be any historian or anything related to history when i grow up. to me, history is history. why would i be interested in the history? why would i want to learn about wars and everything? especially girls, girls are never interested in this type of stuff like wars. i hate english. i dun understand why she scold our class till so badly. im feeling very very emo thinking of it now. i dun understand. why i dun understand so many things? im begining to think about a lot of stuff. especially now.. im a growing teenager whose mindset changes.

i think im a changed person. i dunoe. im very scared. i used to be a damm kuai kia and nothing of these thoughts came to my mind. i never hate studying before. i will start study when i was told. why are those weird and bad thoughts coming to my mind. i think im turning berserk! is anybody gona save me. i dun think so.

i have been perserving and tolerating too much. im exploding soon. very soon. i dun understand like shan dun like our class. i dun understand why is our class always black/bad listed? i hate black sheeps. why shan dun even tell us her things when she told all her other class. u hurt my feelings. you gave them their contact, email even address. us? not given a word. you hate us really that much?

i have been getting angry and irriated very easily with some people. i get irriated easily especially by disgusting people. i hope u STAY AWAY from me. i dun like the feeling of being angry and irriated person. im a peaceful person. i seriously used to be. why must you change me? i dun like you.

my friend. do tell me did i turn weird and pai recently? i have been feeling weird. i shall hang out more with guai kia and hardworking people and stay away from people who made me angry and irriated.