Its not Empty

e m P t Y

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

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Sunday, March 25, 2007 ( 4:28 PM )

im not tt childish as to hate miss sia or leonie.

i mean i understand that leonie scolds for my own good. she's being strict for my own good. she treasures every single minute and second of band prac [ i mean every minute and second tt i say] she really wana helps us or something. i mean i can begin to see and feel it.

but still, i seems a bit retarded and cant take in wad she taught wen everyone else has taken in?! i dunoe. maybe i wasnt paying attention or was i too tired? playing clarinet for 6 consecutive 6 days is not tt easy. my ulcers cant even heal but turn for the worst instead ): sunday is my own self prac when i get to figure out my notes and do everything in my own pace. soo, its a non stop prac every single day. my ulcers seems to be getting bigger and bigger. i dunoe wad to do. i finally got the mood to work hard ((; im very motivated by the fact tt NBC can go ABROAD ((; i wana enter that competition. its like .. so COOL! i mean .. ABROAD! national band competition 我看上你了！

band takes up all my time. no time for homework. i shouldnt be here blogging now. in fact i shouldnt be using the computer at all?! been addicted since my broadband came. been downloadin games to play. i lost my self control. bad GIOK!

my life jus revolves around schoolwork and band. sch and hw and band. how boring. wad a boring and tiring routine. im tired and exhausted. tired of it. tired of tt strict glare , furrowed eye-brow, and the scolding. i noe its really time to work hard. and i finally got the feel of it..so yeah. but i bet wen i jus start to get the ' feel' , i gona get kicked out. tomorrow is the day. SCH rehesearal! im scared 5-11pm can i pon sch on tues? i only can reach home earliest at 12am?! anw, back to topic. i promised i really gona work hard now. give me a chance,will you? dun kick me out tomorrow. PLEASE. PLease dun submit my name to her. i noe im lagging behind. give me 1 more chance and i will be satisfied. if i still cant, i promised to let you do watever u wan.. im not sure whether i will break down tomorrow. i got no guts to tink about it. i wanted to prepare myself jus in case if i got kicked out i wun cry. but.. i cant bear to tink about it. SYF= emo period. tt's wad melissa told me. and its really true.

merry widow.

its a much nicer

more interesting song

and of course ..

much much much..

harder song..

from a 3 page with big big visible notes to a 5 page small notes all cramp into a A4 piece paper as if it needs another 5 pages. Give me a break. im short sighted. the light arent helping much. the reflect and its hard to read the score. so small.. and everything..

MR Lin seems like adam khoo number 2. he trying to psycho me la. he claims tt it called motivation..i got a big shock out of my life. i was doing my work then suddenly a window pop out : hey, giok. how was band prac? :)

linwenwei actually show his concern for his students? HAHAHA. i was like.. HUHH?!

okay i did a long post(: shall go think about my compo. i jus realised i dunoe the places of the school after 1 year plus here. where is the extension block huhh and the butterfly garden? our sch got garden mehh? and the office block too..ya shall go tink about it now ..

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Thursday, March 22, 2007 ( 9:29 PM )

AHHH.. eye-back's getting bigger and deeper. AND pimple!? AHH! been sleeping late and eating too much chocolates. and tears isnt helping much. tears is salty! but crying is the best way to wash eyes actually. if im not wrong, the tears are actually antiseptic or something. i dunoe. HAHAH. Debate was BAD. got some weird prob. and my hands just cant go away from the BELT?! miss mala izit? is tt her name? bet she's gona have a bad impression of me ); English was funny yet embarrassing XD pad.Pad.PAD. i was like just laughing day. cos i dunoe wat to say. andi was shcoked that we actually presented. haah. i tot nobody gona present anything X9
ong ming eng is BAD. she cant teach . she's like chengfang no. 2 but just that she's a bit nicer.. well.. dun u tink so? can u believe it? im actually missing mr lin. he irriated me again tt day. grr ): wen i break down. he's at the bus stop. he was like staring at me. like cant believe tt i broke dow.hey pal. its SYF period = emo period. dun u noe? Band teacher? Lousy you X9 not in the mood for long post. ya.

oh yaa melissa came back today. think she drag pearlyn here. i dunoe. anw, she made me feel so bad. but she's nice. she came back. jayme is happy,excited yet sad today. arent she amazing? lol. HAHA

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Thursday, March 15, 2007 ( 11:27 AM )

HOW COULD I HAVE FAILED TO CONTROL MY TEARS AGAIN?! this must be the 2nd and last time.. i tink i should work on my sitting posture instead of my clarinet. i mus try to sit still for 3 whole hours which probably will take my life. GIOK is just a restless mouse ..ohh no.. pig. RESTLESS PIG who cant stop moving , with no proper sitting posture. i just went to dig out some chocolates ((; to eat. i believe that chocolates can make people HAPPY :D and now my whole mouth and.. face is covered with choclate.who cares? i will just continue eating till im happy )): zhuer didnt come and protect her meimei today. zhuer feeling better anot? u SICK.. aww.. u better come next time ar (; hais. mr ong was talking about how lan our band has dropped. then he was saying dunoe wat .. we mus work on a strategry. till then i was getting all motivated and emo. and someone came and say me. then leonie started her lecture. then i got so EMO till i cant control my tears .. then ltr they pin point me out. i noe wat they mean. i noe u trying to say is for my own good. ya.. i noe. that's y i gona train sitting posture out for u to see. i tot i wasnt tt figetive as i was ytd. i tot today i was guai. ytd i out my leg up i sit cross legg i lean on the chair i did all sorts of things.. i tot today i was okay. i tried controlling quite a bit. i nvr tok to gwyneth. i tot i was guai and i was proud of myself. but in the end i got.. i dunoe.

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007 ( 11:43 AM )

CLEMENT TAN PANGSEH US! he never come today. waste my time. went school for nothing )): IRRIATING! he asks us to come and he forgets about us? haven been blogging for quite some days. been getting a bit sick of blogging. and i haven blogged for a year?! now im attracted to other things..

since clement tan pangseh us, i meet up wif chuanping earlier. saw someone jumping like mad wen she saw me. or no. its hopping. seriously.. maybe she scared of me and find me irriating le ); i DUNOE! AHH~ ))): m i being over sensitive?? she ran away!! at bishan i found out there's a new arcade !! i love arcades. but i got chase out the moment i got in. haven even a single game la. GRRRR.. cos i was wearing the school uniform.. hmpff! next time i go PS de. the games are nice there. mario racing car, drum thingy.. HEHE took neoprints and i look gross there ): hope they wun upload on friendster.. u wan i show u in private la. dun let the whole world see la (:

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Wednesday, March 07, 2007 ( 10:31 PM )

i dun feel like blogging. getting sick of it XD who noes? i might close tis blog tomorrow..? all these tests and everything been making my mood from bad to worse. school is boring. there's nth to cheer me up. things are getting from okay to boring. teachers are getting from bad to worse. my thinking and attitude are getting more and more negative. i need someone who is extremely good at influencing ppl and someone whom i like to cheer me up. getting PPR is kind of nothing to me. holidays are kind of nothing to me. i m changing to a cold blooded animal. i have become numb to everything. no idea why. no idea how. no idea since when. i noe tis is a depressing post.

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Friday, March 02, 2007 ( 10:38 PM )

im damm disappointed with myself in the danc test )): how could i get lost? i dun understand. angry wif myself )): i mus do better in debate!! can i ? jus debating with some people can make me speechless jus looking at the face ); i goto do something about it. and i tink my class should have a lot of good debaters. jus look how they give hell to the teachers.

i got **** on my cheeks by thay gwyneth tan during sectionls okay?! SCARY!! tt smooching monster like WUZUN :D i was bending down, looking at my shoes then i felt something soft at my face then i heard the ****ing sound!! EEEEW.. they are planning to **** me one on each side next time. its dangerous sitting in the middle of gwyneth and jayme. i dunwan be the victim anymore. zhuer keep saying she's like my elder sis jiejie. she walks my hand wen i walk too slow or izit wen i got stomachache and drag me to walk. wen we get on the bus, she will push me in front of her and tell me to get on first ((; haha and she's taller than me. so she was saying she look like my jiejie ? haha!

javelin should not have been tt embarrassing if i wasnt beside her. she cant throw wen i was beside her. she jus laugh and look away :/ haha